Welcome to the little corner of Internet space that I have
created as a canvas for my words, thoughts, dreams, and a means for those of
you who want to know what is going on in my life. It is here that I divulge the beauty and chaos that makes up
my short and radiant time here on this lovely planet. My name is Sara, but I
often go by Sarita for my ever-increasing interest in Spanish language and
culture, and of course, my spicy cha cha. I am 24 and a half years old and I have cancer.
I grew up in the mountains outside of Boulder, Colorado with
my younger sister, both parental units and a blind, smelly dog. In that old, A-frame wooden house in the
woods, there was always live music playing, doors open and laughing. There was
never a lack of love or fart jokes. When I hit 18, I uprooted and replanted
myself in the quaint little town of Bellingham, Washington. It was in this cozy
corner of the world that I would make my home for the next six years.
Bellingham was more that just a home for me to live in while
getting through college; it was a cocoon for me to develop my wings and a
launch pad for me to spring from when I was finally ready to fly. It was here that I grew from a girl to a
woman. I graduated with a degree in Spanish and moved into a full time manager
job and a lovely apartment downtown. Life was sweet, simple and fun with very
few complaints.
… Until that rainy day in late December. I had just been nominated to serve with the Peace Corps and was in the process of the rigorous medical exam required for my service. I was scheduled to leave in June of 2012, and I was assigned to be an educator in sub-Saharan Africa. Even
though Africa was not my first choice (that, of course would be a Spanish
speaking country), I was honored to have the privilege to help so many people
and do what my heart desires most: travel. But in one single blow, all of my
plans, dreams and desires came crashing down around me with that one loaded word.
Cancer.
On December 20th, 2011, that medical evaluation
revealed a lump at the base of my neck, and after running a few tests,
determined that it was most likely a malignant tumor about the size of a
racquetball. They called it Hodgkin’s lymphoma. These two words I had never
heard before, but they scared the shit out of me.
Wait wait wait. Are you saying that I, Sara Emmitt, a 24
year old newly college grad, Peace Corps nominee, with a whole life of love,
challenges, triumphs and travels ahead of me, have cancer? What the fuck.
Needless to say, that was not the merriest of Christmases.
At the time of the diagnosis, I was scheduled for a surgical
biopsy to determine what stage the tumor was in, which would be quickly followed
by the “treatment plan.” Yep, you guessed it, chemotherapy and radiation.
Over the few days following the diagnosis, I was trapped in
a fog of despair and bewilderment, but there was one thing that was clear to me
beyond all reason: I could not do chemotherapy and radiation. It’s hard to explain
how I knew this; I guess you could call it intuition, or perhaps it’s simply my
belief that healing
does not come from dumping more toxins into the body to fight all the toxins
already there. Healing should come from building up and supporting the steady health of the mind, spirit and body, as well as clearing our mental, emotional
and physical contamination. I had no idea about any alternative treatments,
but I knew that the option I was presented with was not going to help me, and
that was all I needed. From here, I began my journey down the long and, often
times, hopeless road toward healing. I still plan to travel the world one day, and I
think it will be part of my healing journey, but for now I am learning to live
in my body and love every bit of it. I think this is a good place to start
because I believe love is the most powerful medicine of all.
I am writing this blog because I know that this journey will
take me to some incredible places, and not just geographically, but mentally,
emotionally and spiritually as well. I feel blessed (most days) to have been
given such a beautiful opportunity to explore life and death and my place in
this world. I have no doubt in my mind that I will overcome this obstacle and
come out on the other side with a new view on life that many people don’t get
the chance to see until they are much further down life’s road. I titled this
blog “Los viajes de Sarita Osita,” meaning the journeys of Sara Little Bear
because I believe that I am embarking on the most remarkable journey of my
life: the journey to myself.
I hope you stay tuned to watch how my path unwinds.
Cariñosos saludos,
Sarita
