Lessons in Love

In the last several weeks, I have gone through more than can be said in one blog entry. But one thing has become profoundly clear with the time that has passed. The power of love is greater than cancer.

Cancer is not just a tumor. Cancer is the manifestation of certain dark energies that have attached themselves to my body. This may take the form of negative emotions, such as anger or guilt; or perhaps it’s the fear that slithers its sly tentacles into my psyche, paralyzing me and blinding me from the truth; or maybe it’s simply the evil energies that exist in this world that want to keep me from radiating my light. In any case, cancer is a lack of love. Well I got news for you, cancer. The gig is up. I am finally learning to love myself. True love must always begin within ourselves.

The greatest part about cancer is that it has shown me the exact places that I need to start. When we are sick, the illness manifests in certain parts of our bodies. This is the body’s way of telling us to pay attention to this area, for there is something to be learned and released. How incredibly intelligent our bodies are. In my years of being sick, I have noticed patterns. I am often attacked in my lungs and my throat, making it hard for me to breathe, speak and sing. From this I understand that these are the exact weaknesses that I must strengthen. So I learn to deeply breathe in every drop of life and fully exhale all that does not serve me. I try to speak my truths, and sing my songs, and not be concerned with what anyone else thinks. This is how I am learning to love myself.

It has been almost a year since I was diagnosed, and to track my progress, I had a PET scan done last week. The results were interesting. The part of the tumor that had weaseled its way into my chest and around my heart had retreated, leaving my chest clear. While there are still other lymph nodes in my neck that doctors are concerned about, I have physical evidence that the work I have done in the past year has freed my heart. How’s that for the power of love.

I believe there are two ways to live life: In fear, or in faith. I have chosen faith. Faith that I am on the right path, faith that I am healing, and faith that I will overcome this darkness and go on and help other people overcome theirs. Above all, I have faith that love always wins.