Life is Beautiful

There are days when I feel like I’ve been here for years, lifetimes even. The changes that have occurred within me are becoming more and more obvious each day. While I continue to find myself slipping through the quick sands of time, I have finally come to understand what it feels like to truly be present in the moment and enjoy every last drop of the sweet nectar of this life. Last night I stood watching the sun sink below the Balinese horizon, tie dying the sky with the most brilliant pinks, purples and oranges, and for the first time in my life, I felt so alive with the understanding that God is in everything. Later I realized that the feeling I had had came from me being able to fully step out of my mind and connect with the farthest reaches of my soul. Each day I brave the cold showers, hundreds of mosquito bites and the sore muscles and joints to have this feeling, even if it only lasts a moment. For in that moment, I feel that I am absolutely one with everything.

I am really finding my home here. I have connected with some amazing people on levels so deep I can see us dancing through past lifetimes together. I have started painting again and creating things I had no idea I could produce. I sing and play guitar in the little downtime that I have, and during the week I teach, which is what my heart has always longed to do. I teach English to the small kids three times a week and I teach short yoga classes twice a day. I feel like I have become part of this wonderful, loving family that lives here, and accepted into a culture so vastly different from my own.

Last week my body started processing something that I have been challenged with since the day I was born. Since the moment I came into the world, my lungs have been the physical and emotional center that takes the burden when I get sick. At birth I couldn’t breathe on my own, and throughout my life I have suffered from pneumonia or bronchitis, leaving me trapped in the fear of not being able to breathe.  So here I have started the process of cleaning out my lungs, which on the outside looks like I am sick again, but I know that this is profoundly different. For each time I wheeze or cough up fluids, I know that I am cleaning out and allowing sickness to leave my body. That doesn’t mean that I will never have a cold again, but it signifies that this darkness that has been trapped in my lungs since the day I was born will finally be set free, and it will be gone for good.

I have seen countless miracles happen here; people who have cured anything from depression to broken bones to HIV and hepatitis C. There is nothing that the Energy can’t heal if we allow it to and we do the work. I now watch in wonder as my own miracles unfold before my very eyes.

Om Swastiastu Ratu Bagus